Your Ups, My Downs...

Why when I see things start to flourish again and when I see the slightest hope in everything, they just have to come tumbling down like dominoes?

Is it because I am lying to myself all these while?

or is because

All these I've been fighting for what you know is a losing battle that will you know clearly I'll never be able to win no matter how hard I keep fighting?

I don't need to be pitied or given sympathy from you this way and neither do I need to hear you say words that no longer come from the heart anymore.

It's no wonder you forwarded that email to me. I deciphered it the wrong way and not the way you did. It was a hidden message from you to me saying that it's no longer going to work out between us anymore from the very first time you asked for the end of it.

From that email, I thought you really cherish me although everything between us has fallen apart. But I WAS WRONG.



All for now, I may not be crying out aloud and my tears would not be rolling down my cheeks, but, the silent cry... is... getting hard on me... for all the things I've done for you, all the things we had together, all those we've gone through together...

Even though you do not have anymore feelings or love me or miss me anymore, deep down in my heart, there will always be a place for you because I really really do love you and have all the feelings for you. Although you have given up on me, maybe someday, you will see hope in me and being with me once again.


Sorry is not the word I want to hear from you anymore because, it's no longer your fault for lying to me all along, it's all my fault who wanted to be with you no matter what the cost is. It's me who has dragged you along with me when I should have known that you didn't want to go on any longer.