It's almost half a year gone through 2009 and since the day I wrote and pasted my 2009 New Year Resolutions and flashing back at the very first statement I jotted down on my script,
"Self change for the betterement of everyone"
I keep asking myself this very same question, am I am really changing? Am I really adhering to this new year resolution made? Each and every time I do get into some argument be it my brother, my parents, my friends and even my girlfriend, I do sit down and stare at my New Year resolutions especially the first one I wrote down. Yes the question is the same. Am I really going through a change which I really want or am I not changing and still the very same idiot here trying to mend things back especially relationships?
Yes indeed I did had an argument with my girl last night over the phone. Yes I know sometimes and most of the time I've been harping on the same old issue since day one we have been together. YES I know it's bad to harp on the same small issue.
But I really do not want to do that again. Every time whenever we get into this kind of conversation, I would be the one who will be apologetic and seeking for forgiveness which I know it isn't worth for her to give me anymore because I've never stopped on that issue.
I really really want to change and bring about lots of joy, happiness, hope, love and care to her and to the people around me. I really want to but there isn't anyone there to support me. I wanna fight this war of my personality with me and my other self so much so I am willing to go through whatever it takes for me to be a better person and make this world a better place for me.
I am lost, I don't know where and how to start to get myself to where I want to be. A change must come within myself as what I have written in my 09NY resolution as well as in my virgil paper.
HELP!
I keep asking myself this very same question, am I am really changing? Am I really adhering to this new year resolution made? Each and every time I do get into some argument be it my brother, my parents, my friends and even my girlfriend, I do sit down and stare at my New Year resolutions especially the first one I wrote down. Yes the question is the same. Am I really going through a change which I really want or am I not changing and still the very same idiot here trying to mend things back especially relationships?
Yes indeed I did had an argument with my girl last night over the phone. Yes I know sometimes and most of the time I've been harping on the same old issue since day one we have been together. YES I know it's bad to harp on the same small issue.
But I really do not want to do that again. Every time whenever we get into this kind of conversation, I would be the one who will be apologetic and seeking for forgiveness which I know it isn't worth for her to give me anymore because I've never stopped on that issue.
I really really want to change and bring about lots of joy, happiness, hope, love and care to her and to the people around me. I really want to but there isn't anyone there to support me. I wanna fight this war of my personality with me and my other self so much so I am willing to go through whatever it takes for me to be a better person and make this world a better place for me.
I am lost, I don't know where and how to start to get myself to where I want to be. A change must come within myself as what I have written in my 09NY resolution as well as in my virgil paper.
HELP!
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