Even though it has only been 8 days since the start of the new year and I've pledge to myself that I'll argue less with Bea, but however small misunderstandings still happen. Just for instance last night, we had a little argument over her not attending to me and my messages which I've sent her quite a couple of times in like a few hours in which she didn't attend to.
Oh well, I dare to take the blame and fault for causing such a argument which lead to a very long message she sent over to me about 1.15am just after I reckoned I fell asleep. It was a pleasent sleep although there was a part of me being angry with her over that small issue of not replying my messages. Till this morning, I woke up all of a sudden and saw that there was a text on my phone from her. It was pretty a pretty long one though but I read through it carefully without missing a point it really made me feel very very bad throughout today.
I won't wanna go in depth about the message but here I stand on my own feet, I admit it was my fault for causing this small argument and it's all because of my sensivity which lead to the misunderstanding. I know I don't stand anywhere in the right frame of mind to control here and thus I wouldn't even wanna control her personal life and whatsoever.
Even through I gave her a series of 'SORRYs' my reply in the text I gave her in the wee hours of the morning, I seem to feel like that it is "Apology not accepted" although she said she was ok with it. But to me it just didn't feel like she's ok and over with what has happened...
I wonder what more and what else to win her heart and patch up the broken pieces of her heart. Our anniverssary is coming in a matter of 3 weeks time and I feel exceptionally bad for hurting her so much over this period of our relationship. Is my relationship with her being put under a test of patience, courage, bravery care and hope???
I wonder...
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